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Dalton at Disney: Haunted Mansion (Dwight and the Twins)

A/N: I know Disney World really well, so I apologize if the way I reference things is confusing to anyone who hasn’t been on Haunted Mansion. Also, expect more of these with other characters on other rides.

"It’s called the Haunted Mansion. It’s in the name. Haunted!

"Exactly! You’ll love it."

Love it? You’re kidding.”

"When have you ever known us to kid?"

"I’m not going."

"Well, we didn’t want to have to make you, but…"

"Hey! Let go of me!"


"Is your friend going to be okay?"

"He’ll be fine."

"Don’t worry, a lot of people get scared on this ride."



"Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion."

"Calm down, little knight."

"Holy water doesn’t work on disembodied voices."

"You’re going to get us kicked out!"


"This chamber has no windows and no doors, which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!"

"We’ll organize into groups and—"

"Of course, there’s always my way."

"…this is more serious than I thought. We’ll have to—wait, he said there weren’t any doors!"


"Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here, but there’s room for a thousand. Any volunteers?"

"999?! I need to call in backup."

"No phones on the ride."

"This is a serious situation!"

"These are animatronics."

"Does that look ‘animatronic’ to you?"

"No, you’re right, that one is real. We’re probably all going to die. One thousand and two ghosts! No, you have to stay in the doom buggy!”


"A floating head…I’ve never seen anything like this before…"

"Look at the floating objects, too."

"Oh please, those are obviously being held up by string."

"Yeah, obviously."


"You can’t salt the ride!"

"They’ve had enough problems with people scattering ashes in here."



"The ghosts…they’re everywhere…look look…they’re dancing…"

"I think he’s having a panic attack."

"You might be right."


"Wait until we get into the graveyard."



"I think that went rather well actually."

"He only tried to jump out three times."

"He hasn’t caused any permanent damage."

"They haven’t stopped the ride yet."

"I’m going to kill both of you."

"Sure, just don’t get us kicked out of the park."


"There’s a little matter I forgot to mention. Beware of hitchhiking ghosts!"


"Now I will raise the safety bar and a ghost will follow you home!"



"…is Dwight trying to make a salt ring around the Haunted Mansion.”


"Maybe that wasn’t a good idea?"

"He was a bit overwhelmed."

"Dwight, get away from there!"

"Stay back, Kurt, this place is dangerous!"

"No, don’t arrest him, I’ll take him back to the hotel!"


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